what to right about

i wrote about pier roxas, a contest by nokia ovi. even submitted an essay of some sort to nokia to get a chance to win a nokia phone. submitted both on the deadline. both submissions, dead.


i applied for a job so far from home, applied for a job that' going to be hard to get home from due to traffic. both applications, rejected. actually i applied to more than 2 but only both of them called me up for an interview.
now, what am i to right about? 


when i started writing for the chance to get to win a phone, i was pretty sure i wanted to be a writer. after all, i used to write stuff when i was young. i've even kept some of it and i still have my diaries.  though i'm pretty sure i'm going to have a hard time reading my handwriting. the computer isn't used back then as much as it is being used today. but after watching the social network, i was wishing that i studied programming instead. 


i actually like both writing and computer related stuff. and both would fit my personality.  and here i am in my middle ages still wondering what job would fit me, ea or part of a team. i'm having difficulties now being part of a team wherein we're all supposed to be equals but i'm the one doing the carrying them around. of course not all of the time, but most of the time. implementing things that would make our jobs easier but unfortunately their brain is like mine that makes things difficult instead of easier. now as for being an ea... i guess it my boss was like my previous boss, we would get along fine. it'll probably depend on what type of boss i'll end up with. 


i'm not limiting myself, though i sort of am. i know i can be a writer or a programmer, because i'm hard wired to THINK and it will happen. nothing is too late, nobody is too old to do stuffs to turn ones life around. even though it's scary since there are a million other writers or programmers out there. but being a programmer is where the big bucks are. well, that being suited to my personality... so what would i program or invent if i was a programmer that would rake in the cash? i have a programmer's block for that but as of the moment, i have writers unblock. =)


the limit thing is having a family. i can't have best of both worlds just yet without sacrificing another. i can be great at my job but i would have to suck at my personal life.  and by the time i'm free of any obligations to my family, would i still want the things i want to do right now...


i used to have so many ideas that i once wanted to venture into the advertising world. then i realized i hated selling or convincing someone of my idea, making them see my point of view. people have a hard time understanding me is enough already.


i even wanted to be a fashion model, wait, make that a super model! then i realized that i hate make up.


this year, i was thinking of an idea wherein i can help out someone with their daily work routine. making their life easier by * then gain profit from it. but how will i get them to be open enough to do it?


life. damn if you do damn if you don't. 


so i'll probably end up doing what i always do. nothing. but just for now. until next time...